Brendamom (brendamom) wrote,
Brendamom
brendamom

Going straight to Hell

Yes, that was the message preached to me at my grandparents church about, year?, the day after Marilyn Monroe died. 1960's.
It was a southern Indiana church. It was hot. You were supposed to dress up when you went to Church. You had to wear your Easter dress, if you had one. It was hot and stiff and itchy and it was not polite to sit right in front of the fan. Leave that for the older ones.
The sweat dripped down this dress til I could see my skin rashing all over. I was about age 7. And then, the preacher said, we are going to hell, unless we did something different that I didn't even understand. I felt I was experiencing Hell at that moment.

Then one evening, maybe the same year, I heard my parents arguing inside the house. I drug an army cot and a table and some books under the trees, thinking maybe I could just live there. While I was there, I looked up at the stars and my plea was, "Just take me home. I don't belong here."
And the quiet answer was ..However quiet in my mind.."You have to live there. You have to learn everything you can about the world. Learn. Understand. Be kind. When the time is right we will come for you."

There are certain times in life, when wisdom comes to me. Not all the time. But sometimes.
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