Ran some errands and came home for my best snow sport. Napping.
Last week book club discussed "Traveling with Pomegranates" by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter. It was a travelogue in some ways and a book of coming to terms with our stage in life. It takes place as they travel Greece and visit various sacred places and delves into the Goddesses.
Goddesses are often used in psychology as a means to identify a "type" of personality. It is ever so much more complicated, since as women, we are various goddesses at different times in our lives. But it provides an archetype for thought and often a basis for fictional characters.
Today I borrowed a book from a friend, who borrowed it from a friend. "Goddesses In Every Woman-a new psychology of women" by Jean Shinoda Bolen. It was a wonderful book to read this snowy day.
I am still, most of all, Hestia, goddess of the hearth, who finds comfort in solitude and seeks wholeness. (Not to be confused with RoseAnne Barr's one liner "Domestic Goddess".)
Yes, I buy flowers for myself, just because they are beautiful. I light candles or a fire in the wood stove at sunset. I can't say why I do these things, but it seems it is a part of who I am. In summer, I am the only one who buys piles of candles for a dollar at a garage sale, just so I am stocked all year.
It seems kind of weird, I suppose to be this person in a busy world. But I am willing to accept it and celebrate it as I get older.
On the other hand, I am also Artemis. Goddess of the hunt and natural wildness, personifies the independent achievement-oriented female spirit. My daily companions are hunting dogs. We walk in fields. How many years did I hunt antiques in Kansas, Louisiana, Arizona? How many miles did I travel across east Texas in a pick-up truck to sell? And then Ebay.
I have rarely had a legitimate job. Certainly not for more than 1.5 years at a time. Probably a total of 5 years all together.
Now I hunt stocks. I stalk slowly and buy and sell slowly. When my husband died, I began in earnest with a nest egg that might have lasted two years. Occasionally there was an unexpected windfall from my Mom. Not one that I asked for...
Now I am doing well. I still hunt. I still keep the hearth.
And I am realizing with a fullness I never knew, that this is who I am. And it is okay. I don't need to apologize for loving my solitude or keeping the hearth when no one is there, or behaving unconventionally for so many years.
I recommend the book on Goddesses. It is just one more tool in self discovery.