Brendamom (brendamom) wrote,

Strange times

I hung this Mexican angel the day before Em, my Golden died. I was all very quick. Em collapsed in the yard. She was anemic with a growth on her Spleen and liver. Cancer is common in Golden retrievers.

You know how sometimes you suspect something and already know it on some levels? Like that. She had slowed down a lot. But it came down quickly at the vet's. As I put her to sleep, I whispered to Em, "Help me find the next good dog.." And the simple words she knew by heart "love, love, love."

At first it was hard not to cry constantly. But I had people to tell so they wouldn't ask. Then I realized what wonderful times we had had together. Such a good girl. I let my gratitude pour out.

With the move and unpacking I have been busy. Have barely picked up my camera except at the Shelter on Tuesdays. I picked it up today. My camera...another old buddy.

I told my next door neighbor Mike about Emmy the first day. He was so sorry this sweet dog had passed. Then he said, "I have a friend who recently adopted a Golden puppy from a litter in Leavenworth. Should I send you the contact?" He had it in my hand in an hour.

I said "Yes". I always knew there would be another dog in my family. I had already told my shelter friends who know what I like in a dog to be looking. When I calculated it out that first day...I am almost..68. If a dog lives 12 years, I will be 80. My answer was, "I better get cracking' on this" I secretly want another Golden, problems and all, because the attitude and size and softness, kindness, suits my needs. If I could bring Emmy back, if that was a choice, I would. I'd do it all over again. That is not possible.

So I called the Breeder. The day Em died, a new litter was born. This was almost so spooky, I did not ask the time of day they were born.
I will go look at them. But there is every chance I won't see the right one. Their eyes opened today. But they still look like baked potatoes.I will look at the Mom on Wednesday.
I will also give the Shelter dogs a chance.

If a adopt a dog from a Shelter, there are no health guarantees. Neither are there with Golden retreivers. If all amounts to that certain look from a dog. In general, life doesn't come with guarantees.

I picked up a wonderful book at a garage sale a few months ago. "Dog Years" by Mark Doty. Turns out to be very good. He truly examines our relationship with dogs. Why we love each other so much and how unbearable is loss be it human or canine.

In the meantime..Miss Em..Long may you run

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