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Confessions of a Light Seeker
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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Brendamom's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, January 12th, 2017
7:47 pm
Photo a day 2 places.
Trying to do a little catch-up. I first post on FB.

My wagon Wheel has followed me from Kansas, to Louisiana, to Indiana, to Arizona and back again to Kansas. I live on Wagon Wheel Road, now.

Dear Rosie , the first time left alone without her crate as I left the house. Nothing was damaged. Here is her face upon my return.

And today..It is about politics, but I don't really want to talk about it.

Monday, January 9th, 2017
7:53 pm
1-8-17 The big doodle
Some days, Sundays, I turn on our local NPR afternoon Trail Mix show, which features hour and hour of Celtic , Folk, Bluegrass music. All of it great do some art music.

Typically I am all stiff and judgmental of anything I do. So I decided that I would go for what I doodle on my to-do list when I am particularly bored with a phone call usually from charities to which I have already donated. I can fill a page in 15 minutes.

I painted this stool red in August, knowing winter would come and that I'd get back to it with no idea what I was doing.

I doodle every day. I think doodles are some sort of insight into what we think, in this case patterns. I so often have a plant and leaves that grows and grows. Or repetitive patterns, tight and overly constrained.

I have legs on the stool to complete. I have no idea what goes there. But this is the Doodle stool.

Usually I pick up furniture from summer garage sales at less than $10. Stools are usually about $5. I was in Walmart today and the new version of this stool is $15.95 Besides, I like recycling. And working on anything without pre-judgement.

If you are daring- send me your doodles.
Saturday, January 7th, 2017
10:08 pm
Saturday Night
A bit of a break in the bitter cold is coming.

When it is so dreadfully cold, my Rosie comes to the door of my office.

I imagine her wondering just what I plan to do about the cold.
Thursday, January 5th, 2017
4:14 pm
Two days of very cold

Zam the kitty has bag packed for Florida

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2017
7:45 pm
Our house guest Phoebe
Phoebe was one of the puppies adopted from Em's litter some 8 years ago from the Lawrence Humane Society. You may remember I lost Emmy in spring.

Phoebe has never won a prize in her life, except in the hearts of others. She normally lives with my daughter Liz across town in a lovely blue house from the 1930's all quaint and charming. The house is right next to a grade school. The kids that walk the side walk know Phoebe by name and stop and talk to her.

Now Rosie the pup is all energy and little good sense. In 6 days, while Phoebe has been here, Rosie has learned a bit of good sense. Essentially, do what Phoebe does and you won't get in trouble. Therefore, Phoebe is a guidance counselor. An adult who understands the world a bit.

These dogs could retrieve, play tug of war or the notorious Golden game...Bitey face for hours. This is where they show teeth and act ferocious for hours. There is never blood, nor a puncture wound of any kind.

Rosie is a doggie teenager. She has so much to learn. And I don't like going out in the cold. It is difficult to train many things in a 30 below Parka. Picture the stay-puff marshmallow man training a puppy.

At night, we come in. I turn on the evening news, which they refuse to watch. I turn on the gas stove and heat up that porch and they are mine.

Monday, January 2nd, 2017
7:10 pm
A new year...the making of a recluse
I realized this year the times I am the happiest. With family and close friends, with dogs, being quiet.
Quiet for me is a very special place. It is observing nature and people and prayers and meditations, writing every now and then, taking photos, trying something arty...trying to train a wayward puppy.
Lately so much talking be it TV or other...just kind of goes to the trash. I have learned that if you say too much politically, your are beheaded by someone who talks louder and interrupts. Neither of which have been on my approval list, mum old judgmental person I can be. So I let it go or delete..isn't that a handy item?!

After a discussion with my oldest son, Noah, we have decided to take ..that is the hard part with no judgement...A photo a day... 365 day project is on for both of us. This helps us both practice something we love and be humbled when it doesn't turn out as expected or hoped. Just keep on doing it. Trust that beauties will show up.

So many friends are no longer on LJ. But for you who check in-This is what I am doing. These will also be posted on FB without explanation of the process.

And I will post them here, perhaps in batches.

In the morning over a strong cup of coffee, before Rosie the pup has the need for huge exercise..I'll think about today. I will wonder about our nation. I will take actions from my heart as needed.
I noticed the other morning that I was settled into the most attractive pose, with cup of coffee, mouth half open at the dawn, wondering when the geese would land on the pond.

Maybe I will get all chatty soon. Maybe not. Expect some photos. Love is sent.
Sunday, December 11th, 2016
8:29 pm
Unpacking Angels
Last week I unpacked a Christmas box I asked for from my Mom's estate. I was so busy last year with rebuilding this house I did not open them.

I just felt so surprised and found my self saying..."Oh Mommy!" with lots of gratitude in my heart.
Thursday, December 8th, 2016
8:25 pm
In Louisiana many years ago
Over 20 I expect...Cajun people told the most wonderful stories. Standing beside an old pick up one guy told this very long story about how he swore he would not shave his beard until he killed a deer to fill the freezer. ...many years passed with many hilarious chances at the deer. I did not get to hear the end of the story. He was shaved at this time.

Now as you might guess, I have many political thoughts that just bug me. What if I didn't have a haircut until this or that went away? I see a lot of older models with very long hair...How long would it get?..in 4 years or more..or less? A different way of keeping time.
Tuesday, December 6th, 2016
8:30 pm
Dog manners
Okay I know some of you will scroll right by and this is okay too.

Dogs need manners, particularly if they will sometime in the future weigh over 50 pounds.
I have been reading numerous dog psychology books and watching videos and you know what? Whatever age the dog is at, that is where they are. Breeds are different from one another on trainability at different ages. Their brains only go so far. Humans have this with teenagers. Dog trainers can have it till age 3. But in training books it is still called teens.

There are certain times when Rosie, the 5-6 month old pup is so perfectly behaved and knows commands like sit and stay and down and wait. And she is so willing to love you.
On the other hand she can't seem to resolve jumping on people for joy. I have a party here in 2 weeks. I have learned that the old phrase, "A Tired puppy is a good puppy" is true. Miss Rosie will adjust to anything within ten minutes and be perfect. But I have to wear her out a bit first.

Still...I love this dog..we are in it now, for the duration ..for both us. I wonder what we both will learn.
Sunday, November 27th, 2016
9:25 pm
A long but good Thanksgiving
I dog sat my granddog Phoebe this weekend. Daughter Liz knew in advance that it would be relentless pestering by my 5 month old Rosie. Phoebe is a splendid and patient dog....the also rescued dog and daughter of my Golden Em.

I feel like the Jane Goodall type observer of dog behavior. Rosie had no manners with regards to dog behavior. For her, it was pounce on their heads and see what happens. The answer is "They snarl ferociously." Air snaps. And then after that they get into pretend fighting and neck and face mouthing. Thing of it is, they can do this for hours and hours. I felt like I had to keep an eye on them at all times. This can kind of screw up your brain. Then at night they collapsed, just exhausted.

Next day began with more play fighting....

Please notice that Rosie is offering one more stick (Paw in foreground) and notice Phoebe's expression. I was with Phoebe. Everyone slept like logs, eventually.

After the loss of two nearly 20 year old cats over the months of fall, Daughter-in-law Virginia and son Noah and family began fostering kitty litters from Lawrence Humane Society in their home. You can name them too. Raise them to wellness and human relationships. Because they both work they did not take on special care kitties who are orphaned or need round the clock care. Because kitties that are in a home for a few weeks are healthy, the pet stores take them on as display animals giving proceeds from sale to the Shelter as a form of sales attraction for them and good will to shelters.(They also offer day visits of dogs from Humane Society)
Litter one.Perfect. Sent out to be adopted. Adopted quickly from a pet store front. Litter 2 to pet store and most were adopted. Virginia and daughter Kellar went to check on them. All but one was adopted. Keller held this kitty for 45 minutes on her lap as it snoozed. Familiarity and comfort already.
Numerous cell phone calls between Noah and Virginia..I Imagine it like this "I thought we decided not yet...she's been sitting with it asleep on her lap in a pet store for 45 minutes. No, don't let her cry..oh please, sure I love the kitty.."

Kellar could have a future in sales or even politics. Meet the new pet at Kellar's house. Kitten called Paprika.
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016
7:30 pm
In my neighborhood not many trees change colors
If you want the bite of red maple leaves, you have to plant one. They were almost always planted along a pioneer highway in small towns. Our town and many others in kansas were settled by New Englanders. These days certain neighbors and neighborhoods have planned landscaping. I do miss that red maple seen in town- at least a hundred years in some cases. Mostly 25-30.

I am working my pup Rosie double time a day. She was so outrageous at her last puppy class, leaping through the air and not listening to a word i said. Switched that night to Gentle leader which controls nose direction. Great tool. Then she rolls to get it off. We continue. Treat all the time! Then at some point she realizes..."I get it. I follow your lead. I love you. you love me. We are cool." We also use a harness thing that has a front lead on chest. Not one with with potential for pulling.

Rosie loves repairmen and even pictures of kids on TV. It takes her about 6 seconds to decide. But she hates urban trash cans on the curb. FEARFUL!
I have been through my share of moving and my share of grieving for now.
It is nice to see something so simple. Rosie's ears going golden for Fall.
Thursday, October 20th, 2016
8:24 pm
Night and day
Maybe I am one of the few who love winter. I have some songs on my phone, which I can connect to the car. I have the old fashioned CD disks. Sometimes I transfer them Sometimes I forget to do that.

In winter and fall I switch what I listen to, especially if I am in creative mode. Loreenna McKennett is right there. Dark and mysterious, but yet a joy.


I am in a place that offers a wonderful a view of dawn.

I am way into raising a puppy and some days I think she is nuts. We train. I think she gets it ,the next day. Like she woke up with understanding

Two friends came by to visit not me, but puppy Rose...or at least they said so. :) Funny thing is, a dog diffuses things so you can talk about what you really want want to talk about.

And the old phase, "Sleep on it." gives me new understanding. Apparently it does for puppy too.

Deep in the night we get understanding. What happens then? Dreams...Sometimes the pup wakes up to understanding things she didn't before. I do too.

Tuesday, October 18th, 2016
8:17 pm
Puppy Mom me
Rosie at almost 4 months.

I used to get up with the sun. Rosie gets up in anticipation of the sun. I used to like to drink a lot of coffee before I got going. Rosie likes to wake up and begin her day She expects big things from me.

I have to say, after some episodes with a bum knee that was somewhat resolved by cortisone in the spring, I am walking more and better. I know when to let up on the knee and take a day off. I learn to teach lovely retrieves from Rosie from a chair.

I think my whole idea of being a recluse was kind of false. True, I am shy, but when needed to be out there, I can do it, with charm. Of course the introvert side kicks in and I have to think of everything everyone said at a social engagement til at least midnight. It is a strain.

Rosie likes seeing people and dogs in the day. She is willing to learn whatever I have up my sleeve for the day. She adores kids, so I am teaching clicker training for them to practice at home. Or here.
Rosie also has 2 Golden retriever adult friends. Kind and gentle but are willing to come after her with air snaps when she is being obnoxious.

Truly, my days are full of dog training. Dear Rose, is learning the sweetest forms of affection. When I am just tired out, she lays right beside me...full length
Of course being in growing stage, she has the long body of Super dachshund on stilts with a smaller expressive head and huge paws and the tail of a saluki with little hair and a tuft at the end. I am so fortunate to not have to deal with her going to Junior High dances.
I love going to garage sales. Last week I picked up an old MC Hammer CD with the "Can't Touch This" song on it. I told the breeder i would do a video of Rosie and me dancing to this one day. She thought I was joking. Why do I ever open my mouth? It is at least 4 years away.
Monday, October 10th, 2016
8:34 am
Okay...before you drown in puppy photos....
Honest to goodness..I am on this 24/7. I really want a really good dog. For me. Not for the world.
And thank goodness, I started this early. Knee is acting up and I wonder if you need to get in line for a new Cortisone shot. Last one was April. But I know a few people who have trained dogs from a wheelchair. Not there yet.

First face in the morning and last at night.

Mostly if I don't get up before dawn, Rose brings all her toys from outside, inside.

Rosie wants to play and be with me. We are already bonded. First few weeks I could barely get on the computer without mischief occurring. Now, she just gives me the "look."

I would not recommend a new puppy to anyone with big physical problems or lack of time to spend on the project. And in my opinion, Goldens are pretty easy, in the scope of things.

At 4 months, she sits on command and has a pretty good recall. Down is looking good. Stand is iffy. Stay is a work in progress.

Yeah, I am that far into doggie. I purposely make time out of the house for Rosie to learn to stay in a crate for awhile. That something good is coming.

My friends are getting off the charts and possibly making themselves ill over this election.

Not me. I heard what I heard. Nuff said.
Sunday, September 25th, 2016
7:26 pm
Rosie at 12 weeks
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Monday, September 19th, 2016
8:57 pm
Raising a puppy
Oh my Lord, this takes some time and devotion. Sometimes you know you have it.
Gates and other devices...Provide a bit of Internet time.

We are currently enduring cat wars. Zambini is cool. He just bats the dog when needed. Zam would say... "No, I don't find slobbery stuffed toys or sticks, amusing....And I see no point in racing.Therefore I will bat you when you disobey."

Cat Pen is a reclusive cat a cat with asthma or something like it,since the day I brought her home...9-10 years ago... and she hates that a Pup interrupts her sun time outside. We are working on this. I am thinking she rented her costume from a "Cats" touring crew. When Kitty sitters kitty sit, they never see her.

And then there is the problem with buckets. Rosie loves buckets most of all.

After that, Lambie, Lambchop toy. Notice how she likes to stay in contact.

Okay. I am all into animals right now. How will this pan put?
Sunday, September 11th, 2016
9:08 pm
Rosie the Pup
Well, she is 10 weeks old and ornery or sweet as can be...depending on her energy level.

Mostly she is a blur.

She hoards her toys into piles.

She loves kids who can get on the ground with her and still get up. I have trouble with that...but she has 3 gorgeous teenagers to help.

So much more I could say but I am behind in everything. She is Rosie, my Rosie.

Saturday, September 3rd, 2016
8:30 pm
Rosie day 5 at home

All sorts of new toys from friends and me....But her favorite was the empty plastic pot. I planted some mums in a decorative pot. Then Rosie dove on top of them and ran away with the plastic pot..

Rosie is a darling, but her house training is no where near reliable.

This is a learning experience that takes most of my waking hours and a lot of the not so awake hours.

My first goal is to introduce her to 100 new people this month. We are up to about 21, I think.
Thursday, September 1st, 2016
8:00 pm
Rosie day 3 at home

We are still in baby stages, where the world looks big. Her favorite thing thus far is when grandkids comes to visit. They can run forward and backward and sit on the ground, unlike her owner, who bends over a lot from a chair. Actually I can get up off the ground, but it is awkward.

She hears the geese but I don't think she has seen them yet.So she listens.

With grandkids, they play puppy games she understands- like chase forward and retreat and let her chase them, then they chase her...on and on.

I have to pay special attention to her exercise and feeding times in order to house train. Mostly I have made the mistakes on timing. If I fail, she howls like a banshee.

The rest of the time, Rosie is very observant of the land around her.

Wednesday, August 31st, 2016
10:26 am
Rosie the pup

She has arrived after a very long road trip from Minnesota. I love her.
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